What do you think of this (it's my first time to write sci-fi; the following is an introduction ala-Star-Wars)?

Hmmm...overall not bad. But in specific detail it is a bit too derivative of Star Wars. My advice: try to infuse elements of your everyday life into your SF, like I do. Not to plug my own work, but go on Amazon.com, type in "Thomas R. Skidmore" (that's who's answering your question now) and read the things I myself wrote. That should inspire you. And don't stop writing, no matter what. Thanks for your question.